Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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