Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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