He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so let's talk penis.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
