u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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