the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
