Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
