You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
