The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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