I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
