remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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