i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
