I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
