She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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