Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
