wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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