He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
