Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Two words: blizzard sex
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
