So gin and wine won't be happening again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My bed smells like the plague
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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