Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
