Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
zippers are such a cool invention
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
