at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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