Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
