Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
