i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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