Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
