that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
