I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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