So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
