She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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