remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
