Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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