More tranny stories later!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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