david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
