YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize