Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
