Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
