highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She announced her abortion via fbk
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
