what day is it and did you see me today?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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