Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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