all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
