I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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