she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
