Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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