he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
