by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think people are normalizing furries
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize