$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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