69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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