great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
