Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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