Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
only you would photoshop your dick
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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