it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
