Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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