I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
