yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
