You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
