So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
