Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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