none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
