Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
