on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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