ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
