So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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