4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
